The Guillotine League
There Can Be Only One
Rules
Rules
Rules
Below are the essential rules that every participant must follow. Adhering to these guidelines ensures a fair and competitive environment for all teams.
Guillotine League Overview & Special Rules:
- ***Draft Date***: The draft is tentatively set for August 28th at 5:30 PM PT / 8:30 PM ET.
- Guillotine League Basics: Each week, the team with the lowest score gets eliminated, and their players are released into the free-agent pool.
- FAAB System (Free Agent Acquisition Budget): Instead of traditional waiver claims, teams bid on players using a budget. Every team gets a set amount at the start of the season (e.g., $100), and you'll bid on free agents. The highest bidder gets the player. Budget wisely as it needs to last the entire season!
- Drafting Players: No Bench! Every player you draft will be a starter, making every pick crucial. Correct Positions: Ensure that when you draft, you fill out a complete, valid starting lineup. Drafting too many players for one position will result in a $5 fine, and the player will be removed from your team and added to waivers. The only exception is for teams that auto-draft, who will have one day to make the necessary corrections needed. No trades allowed.
- Team Names & Logos: Team names must be a noun (unless otherwise approved), and each team must provide a custom logo that is not a stock Yahoo image. Repeat offenders that do not comply will be fined $25 initially then $10 fines each week
- Entry and Prize:The league has a free buy-in. Despite this, there's a prize of $250 up for grabs. This makes for a friendly but competitive atmosphere. If you received an invite to this league, it's because the committee believes you're too stupid to win their money.
- Scoring Changes:- Receptions: 1 point per reception (up from standard Yahoo's 0.5). - Pick 6: -2 points (so if a quarterback throws an interception that's returned for a touchdown, it's -3 points total when considering the -1 for the interception itself). - Rushing Attempt: 0.25 points. This means every 4 rushing attempts earn a player 1 point. 4th down stop +1 Defense. -1 missed PAT - Passing yards: 300 + 2 points | 400 + .5 | 500 + .5 | 3 points total if QB throws for 500 yards
- Bye & Injury Hold Rule: Teams are allowed to hold only one player per week who is on a bye or listed as injured. Holding more than one inactive (bye or injured) player will result in a $5 fine per violation and the extra player(s) will be dropped to waivers. No exceptions. Manage your roster accordingly.
- Early Hold Rule: If you pick up a player before you are mathematically safe for the week, the hold is allowed. Penalty: If you are forced to drop that player or any player, you will be moved to the bottom of the waiver order and fined 75% of your remaining FAAB budget. No exceptions. Manage your roster responsibly — reckless holding will be punished.
- Guillotine League Basics: If you ask about rules or guidelines that have already been established here, it may result in a $5 FAAB budget fine.
01
Read The Rules
Understand the guidelines and rules that govern the activity or competition you're participating in. This step ensures that you are fully aware of what's expected of you and can avoid any penalties or misunderstandings.
02
Read Them Again
It's essential to review the rules more than once to ensure you fully comprehend them. Re-reading helps catch any details you might have missed the first time and reinforces your understanding.
03
Set Your Lineup
Prepare and organize your team or resources before the competition or activity begins. This involves making strategic decisions to maximize your chances of success based on the rules you've read. Failure to set your lineup could lead to expulsion from the league, so it’s crucial to stay on top of this responsibility.
04
Fair Play
No shady moves or attempts to bend the rules—like picking up and dropping players just to block another team. Any such tactics will be overruled, and you could face fines or even expulsion from the league. Play the game the right way, or don't play at all.
05
Don't Bitch
Avoid complaining or making excuses, especially when things don’t go your way. This principle emphasizes the importance of maintaining a positive attitude and taking responsibility for your actions.
06
You're Not Going To Win
Accept the reality that winning is not possible, and focus on enjoying the process. This principle encourages participants to be realistic, keep their expectations in check, and find satisfaction in participation rather than just victory.
Week 2
Live Scores
Every point. Every cut. Scores from Yahoo.
Yahoo scores
Refresh to get the latest scores
17
Teams
118.9
Cut line
Top 3
Safe
Next 4
Bubble
1
Dpain
138.98
Dpain
0.00
Safe
2
Crab People
136.30
Crab People
0.00
Safe
3
Da Shreddah
135.75
Da Shreddah
0.00
Safe
4
Roselle Park Redskins
134.37
Roselle Park Redskins
0.00
In play
5
Ben Affleck Jr
133.71
Ben Affleck Jr
0.00
In play
6
88 Acres
131.28
88 Acres
0.00
In play
7
AM lumber
129.36
AM lumber
0.00
In play
8
JC Penny Dumpers
129.33
JC Penny Dumpers
0.00
In play
9
Team Rocket
129.13
Team Rocket
0.00
In play
10
PEPSI CRUSHER
128.99
PEPSI CRUSHER
0.00
In play
11
STANNNN
127.53
STANNNN
0.00
In play
12
Toker
127.34
Toker
0.00
In play
13
Fanokes
126.81
Fanokes
0.00
Bubble
14
Brett's Bold Team
126.77
Brett's Bold Team
0.00
Bubble
15
Peanut Bo-tter and Vele
125.66
Peanut Bo-tter and Vele
0.00
Bubble
16
Scarlet Vengeance
123.70
Scarlet Vengeance
0.00
Bubble
17
Prodigal Son
118.94
Prodigal Son
0.00
Cut line
League Overview
League Overview
Your Central Hub for All League Metrics and Updates
- Eliminations
- Tiers
- Standings
- Power Rankings
- News
Standings
17 teamsScroll across for all stats
| Rank | Team | Points | Projected Points | Season Points | FAB | Waiver | Moves | Pts Per Week |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 17 | Prodigal Son | 0.00 | 118.94 | 166.45 | $100 | 16 | 2 | 166.45 |
| 16 | Scarlet Vengeance | 0.00 | 123.70 | 108.80 | $100 | 12 | 0 | 108.8 |
| 15 | Peanut Bo-tter and Vele | 0.00 | 125.66 | 105.69 | $100 | 13 | 3 | 105.69 |
| 14 | Brett's Bold Team | 0.00 | 126.77 | 154.56 | $93 | 5 | 2 | 154.56 |
| 13 | Fanokes | 0.00 | 126.81 | 143.95 | $100 | 3 | 1 | 143.95 |
| 12 | Toker | 0.00 | 127.34 | 129.64 | $100 | 4 | 0 | 129.64 |
| 11 | STANNNN | 0.00 | 127.53 | 124.32 | $99 | 17 | 2 | 124.32 |
| 10 | PEPSI CRUSHER | 0.00 | 128.99 | 169.91 | $92 | 9 | 1 | 169.91 |
| 9 | Team Rocket | 0.00 | 129.13 | 115.89 | $92 | 11 | 5 | 115.89 |
| 8 | JC Penny Dumpers | 0.00 | 129.33 | 117.36 | $100 | 8 | 0 | 117.36 |
| 7 | AM lumber | 0.00 | 129.36 | 127.51 | $83 | 1 | 2 | 127.51 |
| 6 | 88 Acres | 0.00 | 131.28 | 133.80 | $100 | 2 | 0 | 133.8 |
| 5 | Ben Affleck Jr | 0.00 | 133.71 | 131.12 | $100 | 10 | 0 | 131.12 |
| 4 | Roselle Park Redskins | 0.00 | 134.37 | 133.76 | $100 | 7 | 1 | 133.76 |
| 3 | Da Shreddah | 0.00 | 135.75 | 91.36 | $46 | 6 | 3 | 91.36 |
| 2 | Crab People | 0.00 | 136.30 | 162.31 | $100 | 14 | 1 | 162.31 |
| 1 | Dpain | 0.00 | 138.98 | 117.30 | $100 | 15 | 1 | 117.3 |
Week 1
Power Rankings
The league hierarchy, updated every Tuesday.
18
Teams
3.3000
Top score
60/40
Score mix
Da Shreddha
Managed by Vin Power score 3.2000 4-star prestige
Fanokes
Managed by Mark Power score 3.2000 4-star prestige
04
Rod Belding
Frank
2.4000
05
Bretts Bold team
Brett
2.4000
06
Toker
Toker
2.4000
07
Dpain
Lane
2.4000
08
PEPSI CRUSHER
Kevin
2.4000
09
AM Lumber
Pat
1.6000
10
Ben Afflect jr.
Rico
1.6000
11
Danny Dimes Dingleberries
Keith
1.6000
12
1/2 Man 1/2 Dong
Pete
0.8000
13
Potato
Jon G
0.8000
14
Scarlet Vengeance
Greg
0.8000
15
Andrew's Awesome Team
Andrew
0.8000
16
Jim's Agreeable Team
Jim
0.8000
17
Team Rocket
James
0.8000
18
Roselle Park Redskins
Richie
0.8000
League News
Another round of fines have been issued for the following teams due to non-compliance:
- Jim's Agreeable Team: $25
For more details on these fines, please refer to the league rules section.
History
Relive every season, every elimination, and every champion.
2023 season champion
Fanokes
Managed by Mark
18Teams
17Cuts
1Survivor
Season 1 · 2023
Official results
Final standings
The official 1–18 finishing order.
Season 1 · 2023 official archive
King of the Guillotine
One season earns a trophy. Sustained survival earns the crown.
Current all-time champion
Crab People
48 weeks survived
This leaderboard measures total weeks survived throughout league history, revealing who has consistently outlasted the competition.
| Rank | Manager | Team names across seasons | 2023 | 2024 | 2025 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Paul | Crab People | 15 | 16 | 17 | 48 |
| 2 | Frank | The Christians → Derek Morris → Officially retired | 17 | 14 | 10 | 41 |
| 3 | Rico | Ben Affleck Jr | 10 | 13 | 15 | 38 |
| 4 | Brett | Brett’s Bold Team | 14 | 6 | 16 | 36 |
| 4 | Lane | Dpain | 12 | 15 | 9 | 36 |
| 4 | Vin | Da Shreddah | 4 | 18 | 14 | 36 |
| 7 | Kevin | PEPSI CRUSHER | N/A | 17 | 18 | 35 |
| 8 | Toker | Toker | 16 | 5 | 11 | 32 |
| 9 | Andrew | Andrew’s Awesome Team → Incoming Champ → 88 Acres | 13 | 10 | 4 | 27 |
| 10 | James | Team Rocket | 11 | 2 | 12 | 25 |
| 11 | Keith | Let’s Go Colts → ARich’s BBC → Danny Dimes Dingleberries | 8 | 8 | 8 | 24 |
| 11 | Mark | Fanokes | 18 | 4 | 2 | 24 |
| 13 | Richie | Roselle Park Redskins | 6 | 3 | 13 | 22 |
| 14 | Pete | I’m trans → 1/2 Man 1/2 Dong | 5 | 12 | 3 | 20 |
| 15 | Pat | Patrick’s Primo Team → AM Lumber | 3 | 11 | 5 | 19 |
| 16 | Jon G | Potato | 2 | 9 | 7 | 18 |
| 17 | Greg | Garry’s Primo Team → Scarlet Vengeance | 9 | 1 | 6 | 16 |
| 18 | Jim | Jim’s Agreeable Team | 7 | 7 | 1 | 15 |
| 19 | Brad | Brad’s Brilliant Team | 1 | N/A | N/A | 1 |
Pricing
Pricing
Guillotine League pricing for the season
GUILLOTINE LEAGUE
$0 / year
- Healthy Competition: Free and focused on fair play.
- Classic Excitement: Reviving fantasy football’s roots.
- No Costs: Play without financial worry.
- Pure Skill: Success through strategy, not spending.
- Inclusive: Open to everyone, all about fun.
Managers
Managers
Eighteen heads on the block, only one will escape.
Crab People
Paul ★★★★★A brilliant strategist and a natural leader, the Crab People’s commander is a champion of the people and a conqueror like Alexander the Great. Under his leadership, the Crab People are the epitome of greatness, revered by all.
Da Shreddha
Vin ★★★★Da Shreddha earned the crown of the league’s biggest flop last year, managing to get booted before the bye weeks even hit. Lost in a fog of confusion, they bumbled through every decision, convinced that drafting nothing but running backs was the secret to success. Now, desperate for redemption and aching to prove they’re not a total joke, they’re still hopelessly out of their depth. Some strategies—like this team—are beyond saving.
Fanokes
Mark ★★★★Last year's champion, but whispers of extra help surround his victory, like a special ed student getting a little too much assistance. Rumor has it the Crab People took a dive just to let him win, and he couldn’t have done it without the Guillotine podcast spoon-feeding him every move. Now, with his trophy in one hand and drool cup in the other, Fanokes is primed to stumble right back into the failure he narrowly escaped.
Rod Belding
Frank ★★★The Christians are helmed by a tormented Jets fan, whose unshakable loyalty to the most cursed franchise in football has cursed him with a knack for terrible fantasy decisions. Clinging to hope where there is none, his undying allegiance is steering The Christians straight toward their inevitable demise.
AM Lumber
Pat ★★AM Lumber, also known as "Purple Pat" or "Pillow Hands Pat," is famous for poor decisions and even worse hygiene. This team is just a splinter of what it should be, barely holding itself together.
Ben Afflect jr.
Rico ★★Ben Afflect Jr. is like a ship without a rudder, drifting aimlessly through the competition and stumbling at every turn. Still living in his parents' basement, he navigates the season with all the direction of a blindfolded driver. As he struggles to keep up, the real question is, what will he lose first—his head, his hair, or any remaining shred of dignity?
Danny Dimes Dingleberries
Keith ★★Colts. have lost all excitement for the sport, leaving them lifeless and uninspired, barely able to muster the energy to compete. Yet, there’s something unsettling about their eerie discretion, a quiet presence that lingers long after the game is over. Colts. may be a shell of a team on the field, but they’ll haunt your dreams long after the final whistle.
1/2 Man 1/2 Dong
Pete ★I'm Trans is led by the league's only PhD, but all that education hasn’t helped on the field. Still the only one social distancing and eagerly awaiting the next booster shot, this team is more focused on staying six feet away than getting six points. As out of touch with the game as their name suggests, they're more concerned with immunity than victory.
Potato
Jon G ★Potato's brainpower rivals that of their team's namesake: a potato—enough said. With a gaze as crossed as their strategies and the decision-making skills of a root vegetable, it's no wonder they're constantly lost in the field. Every play is a mashed mess, leaving them fumbling and stumbling through the season.
Bretts Bold team
Brett ★★★Brett's Bold Team is the league's pint-sized supervillain, a 5'4" Lex Luthor with the aroma of pepperoni pizza that's been sitting out too long. For all the bluster, his team's boldness is nothing more than a smokescreen for their inevitable downfall—boldly terrible in every way.
Scarlet Vengeance
Greg ★Garry's Primo Team is led by a ginger daywalker, a rare breed cursed with the worst of both worlds—no soul to guide him and a sunburn waiting at every turn. This fiery-haired misfit stumbles through the season with the grace of a broken compass. Despite the name, there's nothing "primo" about this team—just a disaster waiting to happen.
Andrew's Awesome Team
Andrew ★Andrew's Awesome Team is anything but awesome. As the youngest and dumbest manager in the league, he's more focused on following orders from his girlfriend than on making winning plays. This team is as hopeless as its leader, destined to fumble through the season.
Toker
Toker ★★★Toker is more interested in getting high than winning, spending most of his time sprawled out on the couch in a haze of laziness and lethargy. With a team that's perpetually low and lacking any real drive, they're just as couch-bound as their leader.
Jim's Agreeable Team
Jim ★Jim's Agreeable Team threw in the towel last year, s`howing just how spineless they truly are. Instead of putting up a fight, they let everyone walk all over them. Their only notable skills? Spouting Mets trivia and flossing with a jump rope—completely useless talents in this league. If winning required anything more than party tricks, they'd be in serious trouble.
Team Rocket
James ★Team Rocket is the league's most annoying team, a constant source of irritation as they loudly blast off to failure at the speed of light. Their every move seems designed to frustrate, yet their trajectory is always the same—straight to the bottom. Despite their flashy antics, they're more of a nuisance than a threat, destined to crash and burn spectacularly.
Roselle Park Redskins
Richie ★Roselle Park Redskins are captained by the league’s elder statesman, a lawyer who’s been sporting gray hair since he was 11 and is as baffled by free agency as he is by technology. Picture an uglier George W. Bush fumbling through a playbook. His so-called strategies unravel faster than a bargain-bin suit, leaving the team in shambles before the game even begins.
Dpain
Lane ★★★Dpain was once the league's legendary ladies' man, but those glory days are long gone. Now he's a shell of his former self, losing hair faster than his grip on reality, with arms that barely work. The charm has faded, and all that's left is pain—leading his team straight to oblivion.
PEPSI CRUSHER
Kevin ★★★PEPSI CRUSHER is the league's rookie, the kind of guy who's everyone's favorite uncle—great for a laugh but completely harmless on the field. As a first-timer, he’s more likely to share stories than strategies, posing no real threat to the competition. In the end, PEPSI CRUSHER is doomed from the start, but at least he’ll keep everyone entertained along the way.
Contact
Contact
Get in touch with the committee for any inquiries
Address
A108 Adam Street, New York, NY 535022
Call Us
+1 619 762 0769
Email Us
guillotinex.com